nerd is the word.

sorry, friend. i’d love to hang out/chat/go out, but unfortunately i’m too busy solving crossword puzzles, reading fantasy novels, and grammatically correcting texts/facebook posts.

sometimes the truth hurts, and the truth is i think i am a nerd. worse yet, i don’t even think i’m the good kind of nerd who knows all sorts of interesting trivia or can carry on long discussions about “important” political or religious topics. i’m sure you’ve gathered as much, but i don’t give a shit about such monumental matters. i think i more resemble a pizza faced, dorito breathed, middle school boy playing dungeons and dragons in a too tight pokemon t-shirt than i do a national quiz bowl finalist. what i’m getting at is that i am the wrong kind of nerd. my god, i’m a 24 year old carrying around a lisa frank notebook, desperately awaiting the day when full body glitter is no longer a complete abomination (oddi, i know you agree). i find myself getting personally offended when people don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re” and worse when they address me using the incorrect form of said word. how dare you defile my mini-feed/wall/inbox with such shiteous displays of stupidity. such offenders should be ashamed, only slightly less ashamed then their horrible, good for nothing third grade teachers. i hate books for smart people. the classics, yeah, i’ve read some of those. they were boring. books that are forced, politically charged, analytical, philosophical, and crammed with overly-complicated jargon rarely hold my interest and make me feel slightly mentally retarded. give me a book from which a popular (or not) movie or tv series is based and i will eat it up. i just read 9,600 pages of nerdiness and loved every second of it. i, of course, took the dust jackets off of said novels in order to deflect negative attention to both apparent dweebdom as well as poor taste in literature. and don’t even think that you can come back with some kind of, “it’s cool lauren, i read harry potter” bullshit, i’ve ventured much deeper into the dorky realm of casual reading than you could hope/want to. as for crossword puzzles, my nerdy obsession borders acceptable. lots of people like crossword puzzles. lots of people complete on average 3-5 a night. lots of people have multiple crossword puzzle apps on their phone. lots of people print crossword puzzles from the internet and keep them in folders in case they run out of aforementioned puzzles and have none left to do. no? weird. again, no, “lauren, i love sudoku, it’s so nerdy blah blah blah”. i hate that shit. numbers are disgusting. plus, i’m not trying to have a level of dweebiness competition with you. i’m sure everyone does things that others may consider nerdy. i do things that i consider nerdy, so nerdy in fact, that i would rather divulge embarrassing stories about hiking with you than mention, by name the nerdy things i like. don’t even get me started on video games or computer games, as my liking for those only serve to complete the dweeb profile. honestly, i think everyone has a little nerd living inside of them. i mean, sure we can keep the nerdiness at bay in front of crowds and maybe even in front of our friends, but dorky mcdorkerson is always there, rummaging around just underneath the surface. then again, maybe it’s just me. really, i wouldn’t be at all surprised if you guys have no idea what i’m talking about. 

so, reader people, this is where you have to stop being regular creepers and be participatory creepers for this damn blog. tell me about your inner nerd, dorky habits, or how you stifled/killed dweeby mcdweeberson. oreo and i will be waiting patiently.

to be a total nerd, just add glasses?